There are a number of things that we take on as beliefs and the truth without questioning it.

For example, how many of you sang sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me and thought of course that is true? How many of you have broken bones and did it hurt? Of course it did. However, I am sure more of you have been on the receiving end of cruel words and are still feeling the pain decades on. Of course many of you will be and may not even realise this.

We have been taught to underestimate this and that simply exacerbates the problem. I cannot tell you how many of my clients have come to me with long standing issues that are a result of something someone said to them when they were a child and that they wrongly took on as a belief, which has contributed to a lifetime of pain or low self esteem. The person who said it has no doubt forgotten it but the person it was directed to has held on to it. This has to stop. We all need to be taught the power of our words and to only ever use them for good. I can’t remember where I first heard it but everyone who knows me has probably heard me say it numerous times and that is, if you haven’t got anything nice to say don’t say anything. I try to always bear this in mind and live by this mantra. It is bad enough we have these cruel thoughts but to share them is so dangerous and unforgivable as you can do real damage with them. Once said you cannot take them back even if you apologise profusely, though obviously it is important to apologise if you have said something you shouldn’t have.

We all know how important it is to have someone who believes in us and we know when people believe in us they show this through kind words and supportive actions. We all want to be that encouraging person who changes others lives and we must not forget that and always use our words for good, but have you ever thought about how you talk to the person you talk to the most & believes your every word? I bet you haven’t & that person is you. Our self talk is often so damaging and I will talk about this further in a future blog.

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